I mentioned in my JPMorgan / Chase blog posting the other day that I may be suffering from some learned helplessness…

This is an AMAZING article that speaks through another’s heart what is in my own head and heart.

(Warning – longer than a typical blog but worth every word. The comment section goes on for days, so I’m not the only one who was nodding yes over and over as I read it. Here’s a snippet and link -

Are Americans a Broken People? Why We’ve Stopped Fighting Back Against the Forces of Oppression

A psychologist asks: Have consumerism, suburbanization and a malevolent corporate-government partnership so beaten us down that we no longer have the will to save ourselves? more »

“But today, most U.S. citizens are broken by financial fears. There is potential legal debt if we speak out against a powerful authority, and all kinds of other debt if we do not comply on the job…Elitist “helpers” think they have done something useful by informing overweight people that they are obese and that they must reduce their caloric intake and increase exercise. An elitist who has never been broken by his or her circumstances does not know that people who have become demoralized do not need analyses and pontifications. Rather the immobilized need a shot of morale.”

The executive summary is that the hours and project management that has gone into my effort to manage gracefully a revamping of my financial picture to accommodate current reality has been Herculean, diligent and compliant, assertive and redundant.

Please understand that I’m not going to grouse – much. Or defend because I know how responsible I have been and that it really didn’t matter. So be it. I am changing my game plan, though, and reactivating this blog with a new Category as part of that game plan. I’ll explain in a minute.

My game plan has been to work with JP Morgan and Chase, both locally and in New York. Local employees have had even less success than I have myself.

I have submitted or resubmitted the same and updated paperwork to Chase more times than I can count without consulting my very thick log. I set up a project management plan because, for example, my case was closed without informing me, Chase communications are internally contradictory, and even after buying stock in the company in the hope I would receive humane treatment rather than discourteous or nonexistent customer service, it got worse. I need the help because if my temporary downturn in income. It took 14 months for Chase to tell me no because my situation was a ‘temporary downturn in income.’ No kidding! Really? And the second reason? I’ve been paying my bills. Really?

14 months. My story isn’t even news anymore. I will not benefit from Obama’s executive order. I cry uncle. Maybe today’s meeting between the White House and Wall Street will make a difference and this blog is moot.

I have a media campaign & spread the word plan, media contacts, private phone numbers into Dimon’s office and Obama’s administration to possibly provide ammunition to aid others and raise citizen activitism. I am dragging my feet. I ask myself why. To have come so far, only to close the door with less money, less time, more deferred home maintenance, and less faith in so many things…. I drag my feet. Why?

I’m tired. I’m disillusioned. Probably learned helplessness, as I have had to explore my internal landscape when I feel caught in Victim mode. It’s ironic even. JP Morgan was a previous client hiring us to assess their readiness for a virtual work environment. I liked them. I’ve always enjoyed listening to Jamie Dimon.

The financial lack of results is infuriating, but the bigger pain for me is that I am giving up on the system. I need to focus – and WANT to – on my work and thought leadership in helping organizations and people grow through better collaboration for strategic accomplishment across internal, geographic, and organizational boundaries. My upbringing chides me – you’re letting them win.

My time spent jumping through hoops to entertain the drones of the robber barons has taken me from my business development activity.

And I am one of the lucky ones. My income has been slashed by 2/3, but I have been working even if a bit underutilized. In 2009 75% of my net income went to my house payment.

I’ve made 3 decisions.
1. My commitment to doing good work over greed has not served me, and greed is still good on Wall Street. I have to find the balance that works for me. That is MY work. I tilt at windmills when I find injustice doggedly, and that has to go on hold for the time being.
2. I have worked with businesses over a quarter century, and I am mission, strategy, even business model neutral. I am Values Alignment and People Integrity biased. If JPMorgan says it fosters “a culture that stresses the highest ethical standards in support of clients,” I want to see aligned words and action. When I don’t, I will move on as quickly as I can, whether as consultant, advisor, or customer. I am accomplishment committed, and words and actions misaligned interfere with accomplishment. Anyone want to finance my mortgage when on paper it don’t look so good? (Only half kidding, and no mortgage lenders need apply.)
3. I have to scale back my efforts to fix the unmotivated, like the banks. I want to see this through but need to leverage my time more smartly, so commit to short updates in a separate blog category here. If you are or know an interested party (media, influencers in business or DC, activist changemakers and professional consumer rights advocates, politicians, affected individuals) who might want to join, lead, or take on the banks’ total indifference to us middle class Americans…. Please forward, connect or join the conversation.

I’m getting back to the work I love to do – facilitating forward movement for people who want to move forward. Thanks for letting me get this imperfectly expressed frustration off my chest.

I want to be part of it but cannot lead. I have to do my work, save my home, and live my life again.
It’s up to me; just not in the way I foresaw.

We cannot turn on a newscast or day time talk show without having to listen to Blagojevitch proclaim his innocence and victimization, droning on and on.

Citigroup seems to have no shame.

The Bush Administration continues to believe that, despite finally acknowledging mistakes were made, they truly were doing the right thing.

My fellow consultants continue to moan that they are less able to charge exorbitant fees for their expertise. While not questioning our contribution and competence, and while I have over a quarter century experience learning that independent consultants must charge significantly more to accommodate the additional personal and business expenses, I do believe that some consulting firms have joined the ranks of some highly paid executives who have lost sight of the financial divide between the lowest paid and highest paid contributors in the organization.

Does anyone see a pattern here?

It is easier to believe proclamations of no wrong doing when the accused truly believes no rules, ethics, morals, or laws were violated.  Culturally, the very air we breathe may be so toxic that we are lost in the rules of the game to the point that we truly are doing what we must to retain the “right” to offer our competence.

Mark Maguire and Barry Bonds are exceptional athletes. If no steroid abuse were happening in baseball at all, they would still be exceptional athletes. Just perhaps with lesser stats. If the virtual physical enhancement playing field were equal, they would still excel. If they took the “high road” and refused to use any asset available to them while others did, perhaps they would have simply blended into the pack.

What’s a star athlete to do?

I grew up in Illinois, and have watched Illinois and Chicago politics my whole life. Blagojevich is a travesty, whether he is blinded to his own culpability or not. What may be the bigger travesty, though, is that he was just arrogant or narcissistic enough to think he didn’t need to cover his tracks. Was he operating at a level worse than most in his practices, or does he simply have a potty mouth and a temper and bad judgment? We ALL know political corruption is rampant. What is the old saying that Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely? Isn’t that why our Founding Fathers built a constitution of checks and balances? (Which is a story for another day….)

Yet here we are. A governor waging a PR campaign second to none, likely convinced he was only practicing politics as usual. And perhaps he was. If he is the poster child for change, I’m all for it. I’m ready for clean air.

The money people have been greedy and corrupt at many levels, but I venture that many top earners are simply riding the wave of their peers. One must make a certain amount of money and bandy a certain amount of power and money around to be considered “successful” in today’s marketplace. Some just plain want all they can grab. Many are simply playing by the current rules. Some have been probably quite unaware of how out of whack it all really is.

If ambitious professionals want to rise above the masses, they must compete against prevailing norms. Our society’s prevailing norms are toxic, and create choices for many – politicians, athletes, executives , consultants – that verge on the line of narcisisstic lack of other-awareness, and many fall on the common practices side of that line. It’s easy to become unconscious sheep, following blindly what is normal and losing sight of what is right.

Common practices suggest that you have to woo and win and barter and trade and wield money and status sometimes in order to rise in your respective profession. You have to garner and horde power wherever you can so you have the ammunition you need.

Frankly, I want clean societal air. Much is falling around us – beliefs, hopes, dreams, salaries, jobs, housing prices. Believe me, I’m affected directly. I would rather be without a house than steal from someone in the name of “This is the way it’s done around here.” I would rather lose my status in the community than  take a job where I know I can’t have a positive impact. It just doesn’t feel right to me. And besides, while I like cash flow and nice things, I’m not driven by them.

I, despite watching my retirement disintegrate around me, breathe the air and make choices. I choose clean air as much as I can find. And yes, I am willing to sacrifice to do that.

Aren’t you?
Shouldn’t our financial institutions? Our professional athletes? Our financial and industry top executives?

And shouldn’t we – as the people of this great society – call them out and support the ones who choose to rid themselves of toxicity they may not have been aware they were breathing in?

We cannot participate in strategic thinking and America’s renewal if we are breathing unconsciously.

We have many choices in front of us. The first is to open our eyes, breathe clean air, expect exceptional humanity from the best of the best, and stop worshiping superstars that cannot sustain super human elitism without great cost to their bodies, all our ethical consciousness, and us.

As a teacher, practitioner, and facilitator of collaboration, I vibrate with excitement while shivering in worry.

We can do this. We are smart when we bother to be. The Cabinet being created and huddling in Chicago, preparing to break into fast action in DC is being compared to Lincoln’s Team of Rivals (a brilliant read by historian Doris Kearns) while hands wring or clap that the team has a ring of retro 90’s Clinton days. That’s not my worry, and here’s why….

First, whether it’s for the US Cabinet or hiring the best branding team, if you want the best and brightest, you find them. If you’re seeking smart experience with aligned commitment to the objective, you find them and hire them. If it provokes the media and pundits, reassure them by reminding them of what you know…. that you are setting not only the agenda, but the tone of the team dynamic. That people can rise above their own agenda for the greater good, and be better people with a wiser agenda in the end as well. In other words, people can collaborate better than they ever have, and for reasons bigger than WIIFM.

So now you have smart, experienced, committed, competent people embarking on a path that has never been travelled. You are forging a path together, smart and, I hope, humble enough to know that there is no time or room for isolationist action, polarizing politics, ego grabs, or stubborn insistence on holding on to one opinion when many are being offered for consideration. This is an invitation for not only critical advisers to the President, but for all of us in our own work and challenges and lives.

We are being invited into a higher order of caring and commitment and responsibility to be part of the solution, not the problem. We are being asked to stop standing by and waiting for someone else to do something for us.

I know – from over a quarter century of professional work facilitating collaboration and from twice that of living my life – that the end result of authentic joining together to think and act is infinitely greater than the sum of its parts. I have success story after success story, and a few disappointments and abject failures ready to give testimony to the Power of Collaboration.

We can do this. The Administration can do this. The Nation can do this. Possibly, if we really commit to this, we can beat all forecasts and odds and, even successful examples from history. Miracles happen every day when minds join, wisdom speaks, and hearts align. Actions follow.

Extreme opinions do not need to derail this overriding commitment to building a pathway back to the United States as global leader and prosperous nation. America is burying labels that don’t allow for crossing borders. We must collaborate across the distance of difference, beliefs, habits, perspectives.

So I don’t worry about too many Clinton administrators or the size of the challenge before us. My life exudes the power of collaboration even while I am severely impacted by the current global financial crisis.

Rather, I worry that fear will short circuit patience, and that strong opinion unexamined will hide the best integral solutions. I ask that I, you, and American leaders actively explore together the best routes to build our future together the fastest without disregarding risk, most innovative after reasonable examination, and as fairly as possible.

HIRING: A team of rivals committed to lead with a visionary executive fully committed to the United States being a healthy and contributing global citizen. Lots of room for strength and power and savvy and brilliance and advocacy. Much need for inquiry and What If’s and wisdom unfolding integral and synergistic solutions.

In other words, dialogue and collaboration that is so important it cannot fail.

Are you ready to be a full collaborator – beyond your labor-management views? your socio-economic perspective? Your “job status”? your comfort zone? Your zebras-are-better-than walruses bias?

Am I? Yup!!! I’m all in….

Soon after the election I caught a commit made by Whoopie Goldberg, where she said something about feeling like she fully “belonged” here as an American citizen for the first time. That she could finally put down her suitcase. Her comment / commitment resounded inside me with familiar but as yet inarticulate feelings. I, too, feel like a committed patriot moving past history and hurt and fury, settling in for the long haul as an activist American again. Can’t say worry has fully disappeared, or that I am blind to all the work left to be done – from the obvious to the irony of Proposition 8 on the same day we elected our first black president.

Always hopeful and sometimes frustrated, frequently worried and occasionally overwhelmed, but in. Fully in.

]]> http://www.trinahoefling.com/2008/11/i-can-put-my-suitcase-down-finally/feed/ 0 http://www.trinahoefling.com/2008/11/mccains-speech-his-and-our-countrys-best/ http://www.trinahoefling.com/2008/11/mccains-speech-his-and-our-countrys-best/#comments Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:37:16 +0000 admin http://www.trinahoefling.com/?p=49 I’m still taking this in. I would not be surprised if we look back on McCain’s concession speech and know that this – his best and most important speech of his life – did as much to heal the rift in America as the country did by choosing President-Elect Obama.  McCain implored us to be the best that we are, and beautifully demonstrated deep and true patriotism. A gracious introduction into the next chapter of our regenerative nation.

She said it better and more succinctly than I; hence, the lead for today’s blog.

Last Saturday I was privileged to meet and speak briefly with Gloria Steinem at a private brunch. In summary and gratitude for her decades of undaunted commitment to full democracy, I mentioned that I hope (and believe) that culturally we are in the death throes of a dualistic world view. [Warning - brag moment coming] She acknowledged her agreement of my succinct and well stated summary. [okay, brag moment over]

I am ready for the death and rebirth. Too old to believe it will be a magical or instant shift, but I am, as Ms. Steinem self-described, a hopeless hope-aholic. I hope I never lose hope. Some parts of who we have become needs to die. Dualistic extreme generalizations that throw inaccurate and unfair labels out for the purpose of stirring fear, exaggerating difference, and making people wrong if they don’t agree with the opposition…. should die.

We have so many critically important changes to execute. A small and easy one will be, I hope, the permanent death of character assassination as an election strategy. I’m sickened when I hear a smart woman call a smart man a socialist repeatedly. I’m more sickened because no intelligent person of integrity can call Obama a socialist. Brian Moore, Socialist candidate for president, is the first to declare that the Obama-Biden ticket is anything but socialist. I’m disgusted by what seems to me to desparate tactics that have, unfortunately, worked in the past. I’m more disgusted because McCain promised early on not to run that campaign, especially since he seemed to take it so personally when it happened to him a few years ago.

Of course, McCain, Palin, nor the Republican National Party have confided their motivations in me, so I can’t confirm the tactics are desperate. In my mind, though, I hear panic hovering around the character attacks. It’s fundamental extremism unfairly manipulating America. I pray it does not work so that this inane strategy for winning at the expense of truth can die a good death, once and for all.

Regardless of my party affiliation, beliefs, or hope-aholism, I cannot vote for a team that apologetically and proudly fosters fear mongering. It promotes dualistic thinking, which fuels separation and judgment.

Tomorrow is the day. For many reasons, I hope we all vote for the candidate that has not demeaned his opponents or let his ambition override his commitment to fairness. While painful to listen to death throes, some habits, some cultural norms should never have become acceptable, let alone embraced by good people. Any extreme dualistic way of defining reality is nearly always wrong. I hope fear feeding by exaggerating our differences loses power and, eventually, dies.

]]> http://www.trinahoefling.com/2008/11/death-throws-of-dualism/feed/ 0 http://www.trinahoefling.com/2008/10/community-and-connection-in-crisis/ http://www.trinahoefling.com/2008/10/community-and-connection-in-crisis/#comments Tue, 21 Oct 2008 01:31:39 +0000 admin http://www.trinahoefling.com/?p=42 Are you noticing that tightening belts and financial meltdown is fast creating community and connection? Maybe I’m just an idealist…. I had a friend in the 80’s who used to say that I found the good in everyone and everybody. Her example was that I would introduce people by saying something like, “Meet Joe (NOT the plumber). He’s an ax murderer, but he has the singing voice of an angel!”

I’m not promoting ax murder, but I do look for the noble and the good as much as I can.

I, like everyone else, am impacted and challenged by the current financial market in my work – Can you say Bye Bye budget?. My home – how bad could my timing be to sell my home for lots of reasons that are not just financially driven? My bank balances. My story isn’t unusal – or even very important.

What matters is how much authenticity, transparency, and honesty I’m experiencing in my conversations with strangers and friends.

A successful entrepreneur, friend, and colleague admitted she would be in trouble in 2009 if things didn’t shift. One of my personal service providers admitted she’s living in a motel because it was cheaper than her rent while waiting for a family member to clear out space for the family to move in. I sold my second car and am reclaiming my ancestry as garage sale queen.

You might ask, Is that a pony? Sure doesn’t sound like it.

And I say, YES! You know why? We’re not complaining. We’re not even mad. Worry is present, but most of the people in my life are focusing on friends, family, and community-building. I’ve advocated collaboration, community, and sharing whenever I can. Nothing like the financial unknown and not knowing if we’re on the edge of an abyss to make more inroads toward working together collaboratively!

If that’s part of what comes out of this mess (and hopefully a return to more balance, less greed, and waking to how much most all of us were unintentionally participating in an unsustainable system), I hope we can come together as a community, a country, a people, and make progress toward becoming better global citizens.

That works for me! Make it a good week, everyone.

The good news for the blogosphere is I went out of town Wednesday morning and was completely unplugged until Monday morning – was in the glorious Rocky Mountains at a gathering with 15 years of friends. I came back and slammed myself into DVR’ed news shows and emails and catching up with the world. Not that I learned good news, but fundamentally, things were about as I expected.

Moral of the story? I’m clear on what I need to do as a citizen and need to relax about being hyper vigilant, and am antsy to get back to my professional blogging and writing. You’ll hear more from me soon with some news and more strategy-based and business-focused postings ….

Though tonight I have a debate to watch. Catch you on the rebound! Trina

Or something in between? I’m getting my ducks in a row to do some real world research in organizations, and polling and surveys will be part of that research. It reminds me, though, that I ask people their opinions because I truly not only want – but need – to know in order to do good information gathering. I am also genuinely seeking to learn about them as people and members of the organization, and opportunities to make things better for them while also accomplishing whatever project I’m doing research for.

Interactive. Engagement.Trust building, Relationship building, Alliance building – Expanding Emotional Bandwidth. Oh, yeah – and good information, data and sometimes, wisdom.

Polls and surveys are one tool in my arsenal, but not really enough to sort out what else is really going on inside the organization and the organization’s members and stakeholders. I go in and help the company figure itself out and get better at being who it is more successfully and  responsibly. I can’t do that if I don’t know the people or know what is going on. Polls and surveys are one part of doing that faster and with more safety in reducing bias and letting every voice have a say.

In the media, though, polling is more limited. It is about the only engagement tool that reaches out and pulls information from the American public during this election season. What is its role? Media’s growing requirement is to

• entertain us,
• educate us (not sure where that directive came from, but it is there especially on morning news shows),
• engage us,
• edify our knowledge of current events
• elevate important news so we know to pay attention.

That’s quick off my cuff…. Anyone agree or have another point of view? And what role does polling play, and to what end? [Hint: I'm actually more interested in the "to what end" part. lol]