Trina Hoefling Untethered

Ben Franklin, John Adams, and Thomas Jefferson all believed that America was a great experiment in democracy from which the entire world would benefit. Was it possible to create a nation that would protect the rights of the human spirit first and foremost? That was their main objective – and that is a breathtaking one, still to this day. A government whose primary objective was to protect the rights of the human spirit above all else – just reflect on that for a moment and all that has come from their efforts so many years ago. (Direct quote from Carolyn Myss)

She said it better and more succinctly than I; hence, the lead for today’s blog.

Last Saturday I was privileged to meet and speak briefly with Gloria Steinem at a private brunch. In summary and gratitude for her decades of undaunted commitment to full democracy, I mentioned that I hope (and believe) that culturally we are in the death throes of a dualistic world view. [Warning - brag moment coming] She acknowledged her agreement of my succinct and well stated summary. [okay, brag moment over]

I am ready for the death and rebirth. Too old to believe it will be a magical or instant shift, but I am, as Ms. Steinem self-described, a hopeless hope-aholic. I hope I never lose hope. Some parts of who we have become needs to die. Dualistic extreme generalizations that throw inaccurate and unfair labels out for the purpose of stirring fear, exaggerating difference, and making people wrong if they don’t agree with the opposition…. should die.

We have so many critically important changes to execute. A small and easy one will be, I hope, the permanent death of character assassination as an election strategy. I’m sickened when I hear a smart woman call a smart man a socialist repeatedly. I’m more sickened because no intelligent person of integrity can call Obama a socialist. Brian Moore, Socialist candidate for president, is the first to declare that the Obama-Biden ticket is anything but socialist. I’m disgusted by what seems to me to desparate tactics that have, unfortunately, worked in the past. I’m more disgusted because McCain promised early on not to run that campaign, especially since he seemed to take it so personally when it happened to him a few years ago.

Of course, McCain, Palin, nor the Republican National Party have confided their motivations in me, so I can’t confirm the tactics are desperate. In my mind, though, I hear panic hovering around the character attacks. It’s fundamental extremism unfairly manipulating America. I pray it does not work so that this inane strategy for winning at the expense of truth can die a good death, once and for all.

Regardless of my party affiliation, beliefs, or hope-aholism, I cannot vote for a team that apologetically and proudly fosters fear mongering. It promotes dualistic thinking, which fuels separation and judgment.

Tomorrow is the day. For many reasons, I hope we all vote for the candidate that has not demeaned his opponents or let his ambition override his commitment to fairness. While painful to listen to death throes, some habits, some cultural norms should never have become acceptable, let alone embraced by good people. Any extreme dualistic way of defining reality is nearly always wrong. I hope fear feeding by exaggerating our differences loses power and, eventually, dies.

Are you noticing that tightening belts and financial meltdown is fast creating community and connection? Maybe I’m just an idealist…. I had a friend in the 80’s who used to say that I found the good in everyone and everybody. Her example was that I would introduce people by saying something like, “Meet Joe (NOT the plumber). He’s an ax murderer, but he has the singing voice of an angel!”

I’m not promoting ax murder, but I do look for the noble and the good as much as I can.

I, like everyone else, am impacted and challenged by the current financial market in my work – Can you say Bye Bye budget?. My home – how bad could my timing be to sell my home for lots of reasons that are not just financially driven? My bank balances. My story isn’t unusal – or even very important.

What matters is how much authenticity, transparency, and honesty I’m experiencing in my conversations with strangers and friends.

A successful entrepreneur, friend, and colleague admitted she would be in trouble in 2009 if things didn’t shift. One of my personal service providers admitted she’s living in a motel because it was cheaper than her rent while waiting for a family member to clear out space for the family to move in. I sold my second car and am reclaiming my ancestry as garage sale queen.

You might ask, Is that a pony? Sure doesn’t sound like it.

And I say, YES! You know why? We’re not complaining. We’re not even mad. Worry is present, but most of the people in my life are focusing on friends, family, and community-building. I’ve advocated collaboration, community, and sharing whenever I can. Nothing like the financial unknown and not knowing if we’re on the edge of an abyss to make more inroads toward working together collaboratively!

If that’s part of what comes out of this mess (and hopefully a return to more balance, less greed, and waking to how much most all of us were unintentionally participating in an unsustainable system), I hope we can come together as a community, a country, a people, and make progress toward becoming better global citizens.

That works for me! Make it a good week, everyone.