The executive summary is that the hours and project management that has gone into my effort to manage gracefully a revamping of my financial picture to accommodate current reality has been Herculean, diligent and compliant, assertive and redundant.

Please understand that I’m not going to grouse – much. Or defend because I know how responsible I have been and that it really didn’t matter. So be it. I am changing my game plan, though, and reactivating this blog with a new Category as part of that game plan. I’ll explain in a minute.

My game plan has been to work with JP Morgan and Chase, both locally and in New York. Local employees have had even less success than I have myself.

I have submitted or resubmitted the same and updated paperwork to Chase more times than I can count without consulting my very thick log. I set up a project management plan because, for example, my case was closed without informing me, Chase communications are internally contradictory, and even after buying stock in the company in the hope I would receive humane treatment rather than discourteous or nonexistent customer service, it got worse. I need the help because if my temporary downturn in income. It took 14 months for Chase to tell me no because my situation was a ‘temporary downturn in income.’ No kidding! Really? And the second reason? I’ve been paying my bills. Really?

14 months. My story isn’t even news anymore. I will not benefit from Obama’s executive order. I cry uncle. Maybe today’s meeting between the White House and Wall Street will make a difference and this blog is moot.

I have a media campaign & spread the word plan, media contacts, private phone numbers into Dimon’s office and Obama’s administration to possibly provide ammunition to aid others and raise citizen activitism. I am dragging my feet. I ask myself why. To have come so far, only to close the door with less money, less time, more deferred home maintenance, and less faith in so many things…. I drag my feet. Why?

I’m tired. I’m disillusioned. Probably learned helplessness, as I have had to explore my internal landscape when I feel caught in Victim mode. It’s ironic even. JP Morgan was a previous client hiring us to assess their readiness for a virtual work environment. I liked them. I’ve always enjoyed listening to Jamie Dimon.

The financial lack of results is infuriating, but the bigger pain for me is that I am giving up on the system. I need to focus – and WANT to – on my work and thought leadership in helping organizations and people grow through better collaboration for strategic accomplishment across internal, geographic, and organizational boundaries. My upbringing chides me – you’re letting them win.

My time spent jumping through hoops to entertain the drones of the robber barons has taken me from my business development activity.

And I am one of the lucky ones. My income has been slashed by 2/3, but I have been working even if a bit underutilized. In 2009 75% of my net income went to my house payment.

I’ve made 3 decisions.
1. My commitment to doing good work over greed has not served me, and greed is still good on Wall Street. I have to find the balance that works for me. That is MY work. I tilt at windmills when I find injustice doggedly, and that has to go on hold for the time being.
2. I have worked with businesses over a quarter century, and I am mission, strategy, even business model neutral. I am Values Alignment and People Integrity biased. If JPMorgan says it fosters “a culture that stresses the highest ethical standards in support of clients,” I want to see aligned words and action. When I don’t, I will move on as quickly as I can, whether as consultant, advisor, or customer. I am accomplishment committed, and words and actions misaligned interfere with accomplishment. Anyone want to finance my mortgage when on paper it don’t look so good? (Only half kidding, and no mortgage lenders need apply.)
3. I have to scale back my efforts to fix the unmotivated, like the banks. I want to see this through but need to leverage my time more smartly, so commit to short updates in a separate blog category here. If you are or know an interested party (media, influencers in business or DC, activist changemakers and professional consumer rights advocates, politicians, affected individuals) who might want to join, lead, or take on the banks’ total indifference to us middle class Americans…. Please forward, connect or join the conversation.

I’m getting back to the work I love to do – facilitating forward movement for people who want to move forward. Thanks for letting me get this imperfectly expressed frustration off my chest.

I want to be part of it but cannot lead. I have to do my work, save my home, and live my life again.
It’s up to me; just not in the way I foresaw.

Fantasy Headlines November, 2012:

Obama Wins! New FDR Slides into Repeat Victory in Record Landslide!

Even Big Business Supports New Deal Redux!

America Again the Land of Opportunity!

We Did It!

America Leads the Way Back to the World of Opportunity!

Obama Leads the Mayan Calendar Countdown to Transformational 12-12-2012

“Anyone who might long wistfully for a return to the New Deal,” he remarked bluntly not long ago, “should consider that America today is as far from the time of FDR as the New Deal was from Abe Lincoln and the Civil War.” Andy Stern, leader of the Service Employees International Union, America’s fastest-growing and second-largest public services union, put the cabosh to my dream headlines recently.

Is he accurate? Why? I’d like to know. Not that Roosevelt was perfect; rather, he interred Asian-American citizens and largely ignored racist violence. He likely contributed to the decline of the gold standard and control of our country’s wealth through privatization (The Federal Reserve Bank). A Sophie’s Choice, perhaps. Perhaps he agonized over the need to form broad alliances to address huge economic challenges instead of tackling all American citizens’ human rights or protecting the American citizens’ gold. History tells the story through many lens, and we can each form our own conclusion about the benefits and cost of FDR’s New Deal.

I, frankly, don’t want to debate the efficacy or accuracy of FDR’s record. I am not even sure I want to take a strong position on what is the “right” thing for the United States now. [I’m tired and haven’t the energy to “step up” beyond simply posting a thought today. And my thinking continues to evolve. ]

So with that disclaimer to ward off the accusations, I’m simply thinking and dreaming. I’m certainly not the first blogger or pundit to compare Obama to FDR, or to be strongly supportive or opposed to Obama as a result. I am a proponent of the comparison, and I encourage its serious consideration by anyone looking for synergy in solution. [I’m a consultant. I use words like synergy. LOL]

For example, why wouldn’t it be consideration-worthy to revisit the Tennessee Valley Authority? Our country’s infrastructure – especially our bridges – could certainly use some boosting. Beyond infrastructure, we have other needs. We need to revamp our emphasis and support learning, for example. Our economy, to be overly simple and avoid a launch down a different path, is in crisis.

Of course, I am opining based on the assumptions that

- The American people are able to step up and take responsibility for governing again,

- Big Business (and I’ve spent a good part of my career working on building bigger businesses) does have some moral commitment to being a good Global Citizen, and

- When Change hits Washington there is a modicum of hope that it could be real and is not absolutely corrupted. Whether it’s McCain’s or Obama’s version of change.

These are assumptions that I cannot verify or even wholeheartedly believe. Yet when we pull away the mob mentality, the compliant swallowing of the media spin, and remember who we are as American and world citizens…. I still find people who have hearts and minds. My heart and mind wants to believe that we can solve our own challenges. I know I am making dramatic changes in my own life in order to do, to the best of my ability, my part to be the Change I want to see.

For example, rather than taxing wealth and work, could the feds give corporations and wealthy individuals the choice to not pay additional taxes? Instead, they could partner to redeploy a percentage of corporate / capital gains taxes into clean energy R&D, and a commitment to worker retraining and redeployment in ways that serves big goals, like the sustainability of our planet and energy independence for the U.S.

I am not running for office. I am not Paris Hilton.

I am a motivated student of history and current events. I, for example, would gladly take my 25+ years of experience as an organizational psychologist and change manager and redeploy my own skills in helping to build and launch a New Deal that rebuilds for a sustainable future. And I’d like to get paid to do that while putting supper on the table in a home with a low, fixed rate mortgage (or better yet, paid in full. Remember those days?), worry free that my home and IRA will not lose paper value in the thousands through no fault of mine.

Corporations heavily influence Washington today. How far that goes, I don’t know. Wealthy individuals heavily impact world health and other social causes today, ala The Gates Foundation and others like them. Privatization is happening far more and has been for far longer than many U.S. citizens realize. A natural next step could be a broad partnership, a more transparent relationship, a new “New Deal.” Create jobs and recreate skills but moving in a direction that gives the country a shot at becoming once again the place with the audacity to declare Hope as a viable fuel for Change.

I’m feeling brave enough to be publicly hopeful today. Not Democrtically loyal. Not Republican business. Not progressively resilient. Just wishing and hoping. And if wishes were horses, we’d all be ranchers. I guess I’m a wish wrangler. No matter my dreams, history will unfold. I would rather be part of FDR’s future than Nero’s. And so, that is the space I will hold. At least for today.

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